This one’s for teachers only. The rest of you will probably not find this post even slightly amusing. As a matter of fact, if you’re easily offended or super sensitive, you probably ought to stop right here.
Alright teachers, I know you’ve earned some time off. Teaching isn’t nearly as easy as TV makes it look. For those of you that teach either really small children or moody adolescents, three months is not enough in my opinion. (For the rest of you, three months is plenty of time.) I know most of you will refrain from saying something taboo, but as you well know, there are certain things we just gotta keep to ourselves. Besides, a friendly reminder never hurts. For the sake of our profession, here’s a list of some common phrases to avoid while talking with friends and acquaintances this summer:
*Really? It’s only Thursday. It feels like Saturday.
* Oh that’s right. I forgot that you have to work tomorrow.
* The other day I was so bored I actually read a book.
* I had the hardest time trying to decide whether I wanted to spread my paychecks through the summer or just get it all in one lump sum.
* It’s a good thing I have the summer off; I don’t know what I would have done.
* Try not to schedule anything between eleven o’ clock and two o’ clock. That’s when I tan.
* I’m a little sore from (fill in the blank). Good thing I don’t have to work tomorrow.
* I just love waking up on my own during the summer…without an alarm clock.
* Can’t you just take the day off?
* You have no idea how nice it is to be able to eat and go to the bathroom whenever I want.
* Do I look tired? I shouldn’t…I took two naps today.